There’s never an easy way to break up with your partner. We all know it’s inevitable that somebody will indefinitely get hurt. Doing it early in the relationship and doing it quickly eases the hurt just a little. There’s no need to waste anymore of each other’s time if you feel in your heart that he/she is NOT the one for you. Make it a clean break and go on with your life and your partner will hopefully do the same.
So you’ve made up your mind and you’re ready to break up. Ask yourself these questions before you do: How would you prefer someone to breakup with you? Is a face-to-face meeting necessary or a phone call would suffice? Is this really what you want? Going back and forth is never a good move, so be certain!
Each relationship is different and unique in its own way and only you will know the best way to end it. Evaluate the person you’ll be breaking up with. Is he the type of gentleman that can handle a rejection or is he going to cause a bunch of drama for you. You must know in advance, although hard to do the best way to approach this guy and bring it to an end. If you feel unsafe, bring a friend and let him sit at the bar in case the guy decides to the ultimate flips out. Nobody likes rejections, but it’s how we deal with them that matters most.
There’s no reason to stall, be direct in what you need to say. We are not suggesting being cruel, that is a no no in any situation! Expressing your feelings in the most direct way when breaking up is the best way to go, there won’t be any misunderstandings. I know you feel bad about this because it’s never a comfortable thing to do, but dragging it on will only make it worse. If he doesn’t get it, you may actually have to say it more directly like “This relationship is over” or even as straight up as “I am breaking up with you” Don’t go on saying things like “I want to break up” or “It’s not you, it’s me” What does that even mean? If you say you want something, this is an indication that you are not yet there and there’s still hope for him. He needs to understand that you are moving on and he should do the same. Don’t sugar-coat the situation!
In person vs. phone or text
You can still be an adult about it and handle it responsibly like an adult would. If you must terminate a relationship, do it in person. It would be great if you even paid for lunch. You have no excuse unless it’s a long distance relationship, then there’s really no reason to drag the person to town for a break-up. They’ll kind of wish you did do it over the phone in a situation like that.
Positive, positive … break-up!
It’s human nature to hear the positive in any situation, even when someone is trying to break up with you. If you begin with “I’m ending this relationship” and end with “But you are a great guy” then the person on the other side is getting mixed signals. You must tell them about the good qualities you see in them, the things you’ve enjoyed doing together, yet break the news and be direct about why you are breaking things off.
Don’t Play Games
Be honest! If you’re no longer interested in dating this person, let them go. Just because you have nothing else on your agenda, doesn’t mean that person doesn’t either. Using someone for your kicks because you’re bored or have nothing else to do on date night is another no no! No plans and nothing to do get a book or call a friend, don’t lead that person on believing there’s something developing between the two of you when really you just needed a free meal and a movie.
Be prepared to answer questions
Expect questions to follow the break-up. Your partners’ insecurity after the break-up will inspire him/her to question it. Be prepared to answer his questions with an explanation, but don’t go into why you think it didn’t work. This will give him false hope. He may want to work on those issues to fix the situation and then you’re stuck. Lying is never a good way out.
You’re no magician so don’t do a disappearing act! There’s nothing more hurtful than having someone break up with you and not even have the courage or common courtesy to tell you about it. It’s much easier to just stop responding to his phone calls, texts and emails. Eventually he’ll get the point, but what kind of a person will you be if you did that? Have enough courage to face the situation if you strongly feel the need to break up. You’ll feel better about yourself if you do.
Yes it’s uncomfortable, but if you haven’t changed your status to “In a Relationship” on Facebook yet, chances are you did the right thing. The tricky part of any break-up is to get your point across with compassion so not to hurt the other person. Try not to unintentionally redirect them back into your life because you were being so nice. He’ll think you’ve changed your mind along the way about what you’ve done and want him back. Stick to your guns! The way you handle yourself in any relationship, whether starting off or bringing it to an end says a lot about you.
Be smart and good luck!
By: Ida L